Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You made out with two different species that night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize