Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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