Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
