new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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