I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
