At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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