She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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