he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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