No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
