Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
