sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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