I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My ass is underappreciated
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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