Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
