mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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