my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
