New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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