I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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