I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Randomize
