i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize