The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
