i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
