did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
