I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
