I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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