the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
