we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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