i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
