My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
