North Korea, Best Korea!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
