i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
