I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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