This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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