I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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