i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
