i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize