So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
