I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize