matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize