Pregnant stripper...not hot.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
