The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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