grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
