He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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