I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
