In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Randomize
