sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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