He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
