It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she told me i tasted like america
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
