Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
