Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
