Having a random hookup so left but love u
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
