Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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