Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
