he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
