I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I need to stop coming to work sober
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
