This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
