I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
