Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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  (845): Do brothers usually kiss their sisters? http://tfl.nu/7etx
  Replies (38) Good night (813) Bad night (9730)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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  (301): There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself http://tfl.nu/388v
  Replies (50) Good night (684) Bad night (5430)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.

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  (803): I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone. http://tfl.nu/wy7e
  Replies (14) Good night (3920) Bad night (1870)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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  (336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn
  Replies (9) Good night (3564) Bad night (1299)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in

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  (709): its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in http://tfl.nu/vymu
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (1053)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born

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  (479): Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born http://tfl.nu/g2yi
  Replies (2) Good night (3300) Bad night (942)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.

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  (801): when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead. http://tfl.nu/0qeu
  Replies (11) Good night (4222) Bad night (1161)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2535) Bad night (898)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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  (202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew
  Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (597)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.

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  (704): That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes. http://tfl.nu/bf3h
  Replies (3) Good night (1662) Bad night (550)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.

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  (484): it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way. http://tfl.nu/08h1
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (554)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.

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  (651): His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve. http://tfl.nu/5nws
  Replies (5) Good night (721) Bad night (426)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat

  (818): View more from California

  You had me at first table

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  (210): First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat (818): You had me at first table http://tfl.nu/zwwm
  Replies (0) Good night (846) Bad night (272)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.

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  (775): Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo. http://tfl.nu/p835
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (513)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup

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  (919): I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup http://tfl.nu/nvuh
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (216)

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