I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again