ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
