i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.