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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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• (214): View more from Texas

  i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.

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• (909): View more from California

  No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  My legs feel like baby dolphins

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