Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.

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(917): I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop. http://tfl.nu/w9jv

Replies (3) Good night (1711) Bad night (838)
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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

(1-641): View more from Iowa

STOP listening to that song

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(641): FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER (1-641): STOP listening to that song http://tfl.nu/q2fx

Replies (78) Good night (5413) Bad night (1108)
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(205): View more from Alabama

we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.

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(205): we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper. http://tfl.nu/zgtp

Replies (106) Good night (4257) Bad night (954)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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(859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0

Replies (38) Good night (4377) Bad night (1337)
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(503): View more from Oregon

You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??

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(503): You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!?? http://tfl.nu/qs7s

Replies (5) Good night (4024) Bad night (725)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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(732): im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor http://tfl.nu/d5hx

Replies (18) Good night (4641) Bad night (977)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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(778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew

Replies (2) Good night (1949) Bad night (1227)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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(832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm

Replies (4) Good night (3224) Bad night (790)
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(509): View more from Washington

Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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(509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll

Replies (16) Good night (1840) Bad night (788)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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(303): I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen. http://tfl.nu/li1t

Replies (4) Good night (2104) Bad night (656)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

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(+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq

Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1193)
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(253): View more from Washington

You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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(253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy

Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (554)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.

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(847): I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time. http://tfl.nu/5b3l

Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (497)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

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(616): Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice. http://tfl.nu/gq92

Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (218)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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(856): You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off" http://tfl.nu/cdng

Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (431)

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