What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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