i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
