I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
