Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
