He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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